How many of you ever learnt about building polite relationships? Most importantly where did you learn? At work? At school? At home?
Building and managing loving and caring relationships involves an art that is based on scientific facts.
Many of us may be highly intelligent, brilliant and talented, but most of us do not have the ability to build strong relationships.
Whatever you do, wherever you go, you form relations. But, how you manage those relationships is what matters the most, for you never know how a particular relationship might affect your life and your chances of being successful.
We are selfish beings, in need of fulfilling our personal motives, we tend to form relationships to achieve our personal goals, knowingly;sometimes unknowingly.
Many of us are completely unaware of what healthy relationships actually mean, we just continue with our lives, building acquaintances and fulfilling our responsibilities that we were born with or we form willingly. But, not once do we ever think about the quality of the relationships that we form along our lifepath.
Understanding the signs of a healthy relationship is the first step in starting to build loving relationships.
Unfortunately, when we talk about relationships , most of us focus on romantic relationships. Perhaps, we forget or I can say take for granted, the relationships that we were born into and other relationships that we chose to build such as friendship.
Building healthy relationships just doesn’t mean, selflessly devoting yourself to a relationship that doesn’t bring anything worthwhile to the table.
Not all of us are born with natural ability to build and maintain happy relationships with others. These skills can only be learned and excelled at, if we recognise the need for building healthy relationships and are ready to put in the efforts for the same.
While learning to build polite relationships may not be rocket science, but it does involve a little bit of understanding.
This is not something that only a few can achieve, doesn’t require a degree, doesn’t need you to be an expert.
All it takes is just practicing the 7 tips and lessons that I am pointing out for you-
Our time is the best gift that we can give our loved one. While you may be busy building yourself a great career and earning more to fulfill the needs of your family and loved ones, you may never realize that you are missing out on the time that could have been used for strengthening your relationships.
The first step for building healthy relationships, it’s necessary that we devote our time to every single relationship that we have built for ourselves. Mother, father, wife, kids, grand parents, friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, sister, brother or colleagues; every single relationship needs time.
When you change your schedule to spend time with someone, they feel special, they feel needed and they feel loved.
2. Be A Good Listener
Everyone needs to feel heard and understood. It is indeed every person’s desire to be heard. However, not many of us are taught to be effective listeners. The irony is that, every time we have a conversation, our focus is not on what the other person is saying, but on how to reply back, what to say next.
If you ever notice yourself doing the same thing, it’s better to pause for a while, recollect yourself, take a deep breath and listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
We love spending time with people who listen to us carefully and won’t interrupt with their own perceptions and ideas. Bonding becomes easy when we love spending time with someone.
3. Manage Your Emotions
Relationships are hard to build when one person has to tiptoe around the other person’s emotions and mood swings. People with extreme mood swings find it difficult to build strong relationships. No matter what we are going through, no one deserves to be at the receiving end of our anger and frustration. It is important that we learn to separate our emotions from our relationships and focus on the people we love by engaging with them properly.
If you are going through something that is putting you in an emotionally vulnerable spot and keeping you from being available for the other person, it is always better to let them know what you are going through rather than to leave them walking on thin ice. They will definitely appreciate your openness and offer you the support that may help you deal with your emotions efficiently.
4. Ask the Right questions
A good way to show people that we are listening to them carefully is to make sure that we try to understand what they may be meaning to say. To make people feel that you are indeed listening attentively to them is to ask questions. Questions about what they are discussing with us. One of the best ways of doing so is by repeating what the other person said to us in our own language to make sure that we understand everything the other person is saying.
When someone understands that we are actually putting in sincere efforts to understand them, they tend to get comfortable and open up more with us.
While you may not realize this, but this is something that will actually deepen the relationship.
5. Communicate Effectively
For most of us, communication means speaking, and we are not bothered by the fact if the other person actually understood what we are trying to say.
And the biggest surprise is that we can in fact function on the assumption that the other person actually understood what we were trying to put forward.
Poor communication, be it at home, workplace, friends or any place else; will always lead to misunderstandings and misjudgements.
If you find yourself being content just by speaking your heart out, unbothered if the other individual actually got your message, then you need to practice the art of effective communication to be able to build strong and healthy relationships.
6. Learn To Trust And Be Trustworthy
Many people often argue for what is more important in any relationship- love, trust or passion. While love may not be the building block for all the relationships, and passion may not be needed in every relationship that we build, trust is of utmost importance in every single relationship that we build on this Earth.
One thing that goes hand in hand with trust is respect. Respect is something that cannot be felt just by words, you have to let your actions express how much you respect the other person.
For any relationship to get stronger, trust and respect are the most important ingredients. When you learn to trust the other person, it makes them feel happy and attached to you, on the other hand, when you become trustworthy and faithful, it makes them feel respected. They feel that you respect their emotions, truthfulness and dedication towards this relationship.
We are only capable of loving someone and building healthy relationships, when we are fully adept with the basic commodity, i.e. self love. You will never be able to make anyone feel happy ro special around you, until you cannot love yourself for who you are. How can someone accept you for who you are when you can’t love yourself for simply being you?
There is a different energy around people who are happy in their own skin. This positive vibe creates an atmosphere for others to feel comfortable in. When we are happy in our own company, it’s only then when we can expect to make others happy and wanting to be around us.
Building your own spirit and loving yourself is of the utmost importance when we are trying to build healthy relationships.