~ LDR Survival Guide
Love is the shortest distance between hearts
Says someone who stayed in a long distance relationship for more than 4 years and survived it like a pro.
Can we make this distance work? Dilemma of every such couple who live far away from each other.
Let me tell you, as much as many of you believe, physical distance is not a relationship killer, emotional distance is.
I am going to state important tips for long distance couples to survive the distance- Yes, I am going to teach you how to love from a distance.
While you may be cities or countries apart, what’s more important for a relationship to survive is keeping your partner at an emotional arm’s distance.
So let’s discuss how to thrive in a long distance relationship–
1. Embrace The Distance
The first and the foremost thing about being in a long distance relationship is to embrace the reality that you two are physically apart. Use this distance as an opportunity to grow as different individuals and to understand that your love is not defined by the distance.
View this distance as a learning journey for both of you where you test your relationship. If you want to live together, it is important to learn how to live apart.
2. Avoid Excess Communication
As cute as it may sound to be in constant touch all through the day, it may be testing for both the partners. You may be forced to think that you need to compensate for the distance by talking more, but that will do more harm than good.
Trust me on this, talk less but make it count.
While constant communication will only make you tired of loving, it will give you more reasons to fight and argue than to love.
3. Set An Advancement Timeline
You need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Surviving a long distance relationship can be easier when you know that this is just temporary and both of you promise that things won’t always be like this. Both the partners need to be aware that evolution is in the future.
It is important to prove the viability of the long distance relationships, in order to make them last. Concrete advancement markers like getting engaged or moving in together need to be present to retain the partner’s faith in the relationship.
4. Have Fixed Time For Communication
That’s called routine. When you inculcate a fixed time in your daily schedule to speak to your partner like you have a fixed time for breakfast, lunch, dinner, office and gym; it helps you feel that your partner is a part of your day. It makes you feel that you are a part of each other’s day and closer to each other in spite of the distance.
Wish each other good morning and good night everyday!
Keep your partner updated about your plans!
Most important- Never ever sleep on a fight and never sleep without speaking to each other.
Express your love with impromptu love you messages to keep the romance alive in your long distance relationship.
5. Do Things Together
I know it’s not practically possible because the reason you are reading this post is because you two are living apart, geographically.
What I am trying to say here is, choose to plan different activities together in your own cities, but at the same time. Cook together, have the same time to go swimming or visit the gym or your favourite dance class. You can watch a movie or start a TV show together, or take a walk while on a video call.
When you do the same things at the same time, even if apart, it makes you feel closer and gives you a lot to talk about and discuss.
6. Keep Your Expectations Reasonable
While it is important to keep expectations from your partner, it is also essential to keep them real. You both need to set some ground rules about what you both expect from each other in the long distance relationship. Make sure that both of you are on the same page in terms of the status of your relationship, so that none of you does something that would take the other one by surprise.
Remember communication is the key here. Keep your conversations clear and open.
7. Accept That Every Visit May Not Be Perfect
I know when you finally get to meet your partner after weeks or months, you expect it to go perfectly. That feeling when you you can talk to them face to face instead of video call, when you are actually able to walk with their hands in yours.
As romantic as this sounds but every visit may not be as romantic as you expect, and it is important for both of you to accept this reality.
Some trips may be fun and romantic, filled with great memories while some will be full of fighting or arguments over petty or serious issues. That’s OK. This means that your relationship is real.
Don’t let the pressure of spending the best time when you both meet after a gap, get to you.
Keeping it real is the essence and beauty of this relationship.
8. Believe In Your Relationship
As with every other thing in life that you want to bring to completion, you have to believe in your relationship. You can’t just put in half your efforts and think that this will not work, because this loser attitude won’t take you forward.
First and Foremost, you both need to believe that this relationship can work, because any level of skepticism in this scenario will in no time convert even the minor issues in your relationship into show-stoppers.
Having faith in each other and in the relationship is the best way for a partner to contribute in a relationship, but make sure that the feeling is mutual.
Every relationship goes through its own set of issues and long distance relationships are not different either. Every relationship survives on the compatibility of the partners.
Can Long Distance Relationships Thrive?
Sure enough! Just invest your time and efforts, exactly as you would do in any other relationship, but with a bucket load more of communication and affection.
“Apparently, absence really does make the heart grow fonder”